Mwahaha!!! Real Estate Horror Stories!
With apologies to the Addams family,
They’re creaky and they’re spooky,
Overgrown and sooty,
They’re altogether pukey,
My REO lis-tings.
They smell and reek of urine,
Seem moldy and all furry,
They really are unnerving,
My REO lis-tings.
So get your rubber gloves on,
Your tetanus injection,
We’re going to go and check on
My REO lis-tings!
Okay, so REO listings aren’t the only scary listings, are they? I used to carry a bath towel draped over my shoulders when showing one listing in Dunwoody. The owner’s cat liked to lurk in the drop ceiling of the basement and every time I went down the basement stairs when showing the place, the cat would leap out of the ceiling and claw my shoulder. A couple of bloody
blouses later and I learned – be the first one down the stairs to spare any prospective buyers from attack and protect myself with the “towel shawl”.
And don’t you love the homes with murky, frog-filled pools? And the ones that literally have bats in the attic? Note to self: Always have the home inspector go into the attic first. Leaping cats are okay, but bats in the hair are not okay.
Horrifying Home Purchase
One of my favorite “horror stories” is about a new construction home that sat vacant for many months. While showing the property, the builder mysteriously appeared and offered to answer any questions.
There was a huge, totally dead tree in the side yard and a very large predator bird with huge claws and a hideous beak circling above, which landed in the dead tree. I asked if the bird were a hawk and the builder replied, “Probably a buzzard.” The back yard was over an acre and very overgrown. The prospective buyers wanted to walk back to the creek behind the property
and the builder warned, “Watch out for snakes!” I turned to the builder and asked him, “Do you want to sell this house or not? Are you trying to scare the buyers?”
Turns out the buyers loved the fact that it was isolated and loaded with questionable animals and bought the place. The day after closing, I got a call from the buyers describing the loud BOOM they heard in their basement the evening before. When they ran to the basement, a water pipe had burst (no use in a long, long time) and began to flood the basement. They
quickly shut off the water and scooped the water toward the basement door which led out to the overgrown, potentially snake-infested back yard.
When they opened the basement door, a literal wall of frogs fell into the basement, right into the water and began hopping all over the basement. Wet frogs everywhere!!! Fortunately, the buyers were “Yankees” and had snow shovels handy. They scooped up shovelfuls of frogs and pitched them back outside. Welcome to your new home!
Grave Yard Included
Another buyer called Broker Support after moving in during the fall. When raking leaves, he discovered two grave markers in his front yard.
Drowning Basement
A neighbor called to tell me that water was running from the basement door of my vacant corporate listing. Entering the house through the front door, nothing seemed wrong until I approached the basement door. It sounded like someone taking a shower in the basement. But that couldn’t be – it was an unfinished basement.
Going down the basement steps, it didn’t take long to see that the entire floor was covered with at least four inches of water. Water was cascading down from the main water line just inside the basement wall. The water was “dancing” along all of the electrical wires in the basement ceiling, creating a rain-like effect. Water was pouring from the electrical panel box.
All I can say is thank goodness the seller had taken out a home warranty!
What’s your ooky, spooky, eeky, slimy real estate horror story?
by Ann Bone